In a world mass-producing content, what do you create? I’ve been stuck on this thought ever since My first blog post.
When first launching My website in 2025, it was My dominatrixes (they are not an alter-ego but an extension of My self) first contact with the world. Every post felt important, every typed word was exciting. Now that I’ve opened up for bookings, taking on clients and refined My approach, things aren’t as bright and shiny as before. Which is fine, the honeymoon phase isn’t the best headspace to be in for expansion.
These past couple of months I’ve been caught up in My thoughts. I refused to write another article on ”3 Ways to be A Good Sub” or ”The Art of Dominance”, that you’ve read a thousand times before. I wanted to write something intentional, but most of all, I wanted to write something that came from Myself. I’ve been thinking, and thinking, whilst also meeting new clients, taking care of existing d/s dynamics and trying to get into the flow of posting on social media. But with all the content I’ve been consuming, it’s been hard to understand which thoughts are My own and which are influenced.
Ruminating over the mass-production of content made Me become even more engulfed over what is Mine and what is Theirs (SoMe, AI-slop and the likes). And no, I’m not trying to be unique; perfectionism is a prison. I’m just frightened over the fact that there’s no way to truly know where My thoughts start and where SoMe influencers content end. This idea had Me in shackles. Not writing; just thinking, posting, booking, working and reading. Until I realised, I need to get out of My fucking head. And the loop—snapped!
So, as I’m sitting here, writing all of this, there’s suddenly space for something else…
A passion of Mine is pedagogy, radical pedagogy to be exact. There are many ways to see this method of pedagogy. For Myself, it’s an approach to teaching that challenges structures of non-consensual domination. It’s also a way of creating alternative realities. I see the classroom as a malleable space, that We (My students and I), can shape into whatever We dream of. One of My favourite books on pedagogy is Bell Hooks ”Teaching Community”. There is a chapter in the book where Hooks writes about the erotic. ”Passionate pedagogy in any setting is likely to spark erotic energy” (Hooks, 2003, p. 154).
Hooks believes that good teachers harness the erotic. She believes that binary thinking is harmful and that by only seeing the erotic as a terrain of exploitation only intensifies dynamics of coercion and exploitation regarding desire (Hooks, 2003). Hooks (2003, p. 155) reminds us that ”The erotic is always present—always with us”. And that the erotic can be a space of transgression that can undermine politics of domination.
In a world where We are expected to constantly move forward; thinking of the next promotion, completing personal goals and planning for the future. It is radical to be in the present, and the easiest way to be present, is to be in your body. Desire and eroticism is something you feel in the body, therefore it can be a tool to cultivate presence. Contemporary academia focuses on being in the mind. So embracing the erotic breaks contemporary teaching methodologies, making it a tool in radical pedagogy.
A lot of teaching is facilitation, creating containment where your students are able to learn. Within radical pedagogy, We take into account that every student has a life outside of the classroom. And that every student brings things into the classroom that may support, create tension, challenge or uplift. In radical pedagogy, We see experiences outside of the classroom just as important pieces of knowledge, as the knowledge that is shared from the teacher.
The dominatrix is also a facilitator, We construct sessions that allow our clients to submit. I believe, a good dominatrix, will also take into account that clients bring things from their everyday lives into the session. And that apart of facilitating a session, you strive to support your client through the many stages of submission whilst also honouring their reality, needs, limits and desires. The dominatrix embodies the erotic full-heartedly.
I don’t know if being a mindful teacher is what makes Me a mindful dominatrix. But I do know that being in My body, enables Me to facilitate spaces for others to be in theirs. And, that—is something that can break down structures of domination working outside of the framework of BDSM.
I have now added some books on radical pedagogy that I’ve been keen on reading to My wishlist. Be a good dog and contribute to My continued self-study on the subject.
Literature cited:
Hooks, Bell. 2003. Teaching Community: A Pedagogy of Hope. Routledge, New York.